This isn’t supposed to be a personal blog, but lately my life has been teeming with drama, and I need to vent to people who are at distance from me; who don’t know my family, who only know me. The reason for that is irrelevant right now.
So… uh… I am angry at The King of Limbs:
I’ll put this in Radiohead context, and in Radiohead time: On February 18, 2011, my aunt passed away. TKOL was released. February 18, 2012, my cousin passed away and I got the news that my dad may have a tumour in his chest.
I’m angry that everyone gets to enjoy TKOL on February 18, and then carry on with their lives and enjoy it more. And then get sad about boys or school. Because the universe seems to have decided February 18 will be terrible for me and my family.
I put that album aside – I’ve only listened to it consciously once. I listened to the whole of Magpie and Little by Little once. I thought I’d go back to it when the grief wasn’t so fresh. I’ve tried listening to it since then, but I couldn’t stop associating it with the time my aunt died.
I thought that I could wait longer, wait for this year’s spring when everything’s perkier so that TKOL would remind me of the sun and warm air instead. But this February 18 is really digging it in now – this music is accompanied by mourning. I can’t detach it from what happened on that date.
It’s misplaced anger, I see that. I’m angry at Radiohead fans and an album, of all things. Goes to show how ridiculous grief is.
